degero miro claro

I have been trying to amass a collection of quotes that, when I first read them, really seemed to be clear, make sense, and said something poignant about how life is and how we can live it happily and more easily. I’d like to intermittently post about them, but instead of just being like, “Oh my god this quote is amazing, this person is a genius!” I really want to explain why I think the quote is so nice and how it gives really good insight, or why it seems true to me. So here’s the first one I’d like to share:

“I am indeed rich since my income is superior to my expense and my expense is equal to my wishes.”

 -Edward Gibbon

I love that he said this because it is so TRUE. True true true. We have a really competitive culture. Our culture kind of makes it seem like there are only two options: you’re the best out of everything, or you’re crap. The expectation is that you are only successful or valuable if you are the #1 best, or you have the highest net worth possible, or if you have these token things that say “I am better than others, I am ideal, I am a success, I am acceptable.” This usually entails making a gross excess of money. Literally. There are individuals with billions and billions of dollars (Warren Buffet, Forbes 2008 #1 billionaire, net worth 62 bil.). Yes, they may have a much higher cost of living since they purchase fine things, and they may be supporting a family, and sending kids to college, but this does not require billions and billions of dollars. There is literally a gross excess that may never be spent and will last for generations.

Now, for one thing, this is a free country, and if some one really does love just making money – for some reason they find it interesting and satisfying, and they just get a kick out of commerce – they should be doing that. Ideally, since they’re making it simply for the joy of making it, maybe they would make sure to donate to a lot of charities (which a lot of billionaires do, thank god), and make sure all who are employed by them are compensated really well. But, it is a free country, and it is their money, so they can do with it what they choose. For all the rest of the people out there, who don’t find finance and economics emotionally satisfying, it’s important to be clear that making good money, and being “rich and successful” are relative things.

The way Gibbons phrased what he said is very practical and universally applicable. He accounts for the fact that we all do need some sort of cushion of security, “my income is superior to my expense.” You can’t simply run around spending everything you actually make because then you’d be in trouble if you became ill, or just wanted a break from work for a while, etc. And then he said the most important thing, so plain and clear and really focusing on the important part of everyone’s financial goals: my expense is equal to my wishes.

Equal to MY WISHES. You don’t need to make how much money your mother thinks you should make, or your brother, father, teachers, friends, colleagues, the E! network, the media, those who make more money than you do, or ANYONE thinks. You need to make how much money is necessary for WHAT YOU WANT. If you’re making enough to have security and room for the unexpected, and you make enough to do everything you really want to do, you are free. You are successful and wealthy in the most perfect way. That is SUCCESS. Feeling like you’ve achieved what YOU really want. That’s all anyone needs. And it is different for every person. Some people really want to do certain things and live a certain way, and they need millions or billions. Some only need thousands. What people want is a wide and varied spectrum, and you have to find your place on it. Really know what you love, and how you like to live, and plan your life accordingly. Don’t worry about what anyone else is thinking.

So I just really liked this quote because it is very clear and to the point, and is a release from some of the bogus social expectations of life.

Sometimes I get really confused at how unintelligent the type of people who you’d expect to be very sharp are. I don’t consider myself super highly intelligent or anything, but I do really think about things and know that I am quite smart (I think…) – still, sometimes I feel like I see things WAY more clearly than a lot of people in positions of authority, importance, etc., and it’s the kind of thing that makes you wonder if you should be worried about our society (which, OBVIOUSLY, everyone should be).

I read an article on SFist today and then checked out the CNN article it references where former Hewlett-Packard CEO, Carly Fiorina criticizes SNL’s Sarah Palin & Hilary Clinton skit from this past week. Fiorina (a republican & aide to the McCain campaign) criticizes Tina Fey’s representation of Palin, and I quote her comments here:

“The portrait was very dismissive of the substance of Sarah Palin, and so in that sense, they were defining Hillary Clinton as very substantive, and Sarah Palin as totally superficial,” Fiorina told MSNBC earlier Monday. “I think that continues the line of argument that is disrespectful in the extreme, and yes, I would say, sexist in the sense that just because Sarah Palin has different views than Hillary Clinton does not mean that she lacks substance.”
-A. Mooney, CNN

Okay. Um, No.

sexism (n): 1) Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women. 2) Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

Fiorina says specifically that the portrayal and skit are sexist “in the sense that just because Sarah Palin has different views than Hillary Clinton does not mean that she lacks substance.”

So… because one woman is portrayed as being less substantial as far as attitudes and political experience than another… and one woman is portrayed as more substantial… both being compared on their personalities/experience… that is SOMEHOW discriminating on the first woman by GENDER?? NO! This is a type of logical fallacy. Being sexist often involves making fun of a person who is a woman, therefore anyone making any fun of a person who is a woman is being sexist? If I say, “Haha, she tripped, she’s clumsy, ” because I’m talking about a ’she’ it’s sexist? Give me a break. Fiorina’s criticism of the skit is completely bogus.
I will concede that the portrayal of Palin kind of showed her as this girly hockey-mom type who is kind of air-headed, but considering how they also had a satire example of a smart accomplished not-so-domestic woman right next to that, the comparison cannot be considered unfair as far as stereotyping of women. That point is not so much sexism as it is culturism, to me. I’ll have to write more about that concept later!

Anyway, I just wanted to point out how obviously inaccurate this woman’s criticism was. The other scary part is that when I was reading comments on these articles, 90% of the time people kept harping on party differences, how Fiorina needed to chill out, or how the McCain camp was playing the sexism card again – there was no sexism card to play, it wasn’t sexist!! Not very many people noted that you don’t even need to defend the skit because the criticism does not apply.

Here is the SFist article, the CNN article, and the SNL skit:

SFist “Fiorina Slams SNL Palin-Clinton Skit as “Sexist”"

CNN “Fiorina calls SNL impersonation of Palin ’sexist’”

SNL Palin-Clinton skit

I have always been very grateful that my parents never forced me or expected me to go into any specific profession. All they have wanted of me is that I know how to support and take care of myself, and that I am happy. I am so lucky. I’ve always thought it is very wrong to force an individual to do something with their life that they do not necessarily have a desire to do. Your work is a large part of your life, and finding yourself on the wrong path or in the wrong place can prevent you from really being yourself and being able to be happy with life.

The book I’m reading right now talks about this. It’s called Intelligence: The Creative Response to Now, by Osho. He talks about what intelligence is and how our society is structured in such a way that we lose our natural intelligence as we learn and are affected by school, parents, and other forces. There is a very good quote from the book that I was thinking of. He says,

“Education should not be competitive. People should not be judged against each other. Competitiveness is very violent and very destructive. Somebody is not good at mathematics and you call him mediocre. And he may be good at carpentry, but nobody looks at that. Somebody is not good at literature and you call her stupid – and she will be good at music and dance.”

I really feel that competitiveness, especially in the professional and status-related arenas of society, is very unhealthy and makes people – all people – unhappy. It is definitely good to push yourself and try your best, but when you have to compare yourself to others it is a sure way to get to feeling inadequate. And that is not fair or true because everyone is so different. 

It seems that often people think that you must be competitive and that being the best or in the “best”, “most impressive” state is the most important thing. I think people think that unless you are very rich, and acknowledged by public society, you are not worth much, and that is wrong. That’s really not how it works. The people who are doing the best are people who know themselves, are comfortable with themselves, and who are surviving doing things that fulfill them and that take care of their needs. They understand that having peace of mind and freedom to do what you love (even if you’re not lucky enough that it’s your day job) really makes people feel amazing and like they have worth and a place in this world.

So I’m writing this because I really feel that parents, schools, people in authority, advisors, peers, friends, family, should encourage children and anyone they know to understand how to take care of themselves in this world. To know that life can be hard and you have to work hard, but to follow what your feelings tell you. People should be encouraged to find what makes them feel whole, and to find a way to make that work for their life. Osho also says in that part of the book that everyone is in the wrong place, one person is doing another’s job and that person is doing theirs. It’s like…if we only let people naturally drift to where they were supposed to be the world would work a lot better. It’s very complicated, and surely not simple to teach some one enough but not too much, but I hope people start to realize and think about this kind of stuff.

On a personal note, sometimes I’m not sure I’m applying this to myself enough. Those of you who know me well know that I love to sing. I mean really love it. When I’m listening to music or singing are the only times I feel truly normal, comfortable, and passionate about life. Sometimes I worry that I am supposed to be spending much more of my time singing. That if I tried to sing for a living, everything would make much more sense, be much less painful, and I would be much more productive and happy. But I am afraid of this idea because I am sort of weak. I have pretty weak physical constitutions. I am always too cold or too hot. I have acute motion-sickness problems. I’m pretty sure I am hypoglycemic, and I can have a pretty big appetite. I get tired very quickly, and I have a lot of problems with social anxiety. I’m also a sensualist which means I love it when things look, feel, smell, and sound very good to me. Not exactly the best qualities for some one who should be being musical for a living. I need to be secure – emotionally, physically, financially (NOT well-off or rich, just sure that I have enough money to do what I do). How could I possibly spend most of my time being musical when it can pay so badly and the work is so sporadic?? Anyway, that’s my problem to meditate on. I am really happy about my current work situation, so there’s no rush. Wow this is a long post!

I hope you are happy with your profession, be it passion, or day-job! Goodnight neverland!