why unsatisfied as we are?
August 18, 2008 at 9:45 pm | In personal, philosophizing | 1 CommentWhy is there a natural desire to do anything at all besides eat and sleep? Why do I feel the way I do about one thing or another? Why am I always lonely, but need at least 4-5 hours of alone time each day? Why can’t I relax and speak in my chest voice? Why can’t I think of another question to write? Why did humans create such unnatural societal structures? Why does nothing fit? Why am I alive? Why do adults act like such children? Why am I so sensitive to things around me? Why is excessive confidence so highly valued when it’s often based on nothing? Why don’t people understand that everyone is physically and emotionally different. Why do we make people afraid to be honest? Why am I not SO happy right now? Why can’t I sing when I get sad? What am I for?
time to get into my cosy bed. that I have no questions about. xo, night night.
synesthesia
August 6, 2008 at 10:39 pm | In personal, science!, sensualism | Leave a CommentI love synesthesia. I didn’t know this was actually a known perceptive quality until about 2 years ago. I’ve been a synesthete I think my whole life. I would really like to meet other people who are synesthetes, cause it’s such a weird, interesting thing that totally feels natural.
I mainly have grapheme-color synesthesia, where numbers, letters, and letters in words have a color associated with them. I also experience some sound-color synesthesia, but I more so feel personalities and specific feelings/moods/ambiance of happening when I hear note changes, chords, or combination of notes or different melodies. I have some ordinal-linguistic personification, which is when multi-digit numbers, day names, months, or letters have a personality.
I’m not sure how some one’s synesthesia develops, but I think things like the type of colors and personalities that are literally associated with anything when you’re younger and you’re developing in pre-school and the lower grades will affect it (ie: Monday is always black to me, and I think the on the days of the week signs in the library of my elementary school the monday card was in black letters). Besides that I think it’s all just natural and a combination of your own brain’s chemical and mechanical perception and all the factors of your world around you.
On to the great part! Something that is really fun is comparing synesthesia with some one else who has it. It’s makes me ridiculously giddy to argue that, “No way! Friday is RED, it’s totally red. There’s no way it’s blue!”. So I wanted to write out a synesthesia profile for myself. If anyone has it too please comment!! The following is how I ALWAYS see these letters, numbers, etc. When I see them they just appear that way. They have the “quality” of being that color. Only occasionally do I actually see the number or letter in it’s color, and if so it’s just for a second.
my synesthesia profile:
Monday: black
Tuesday: tan
Wednesday: brown, orange, or dark orange
Thursday: purple
Friday: red
Saturday: white/yellow
Sunday: brown
0: black
1: white
2: tan, goldenrod
3: purple, sometimes black
4: brown
5: red
6: blue
7: green
8: yellow, goldenrod
9: faded orange-red
10: black, or white/black
11: white, platinum
12: yellow
13: violet
14: white/brown
15: coral
… and the colors kind of combine so on and so on based on the ten digits.
January: red
February: light orange
March: green
April: pink/yellow
May: dark pink
June: blue
July: green, or red
August: red and bright gold/orange
September: light yellow/tan, or light grey
October: black, or green/purple
November: brown
December: brown, or purple
a: red
b: orange
c: dark blue
d: brown
e: purple
f: dark orange
g: brown
h: light yellow/orange
i: white/platinum
j: blue, black
k: white
l: white or light coral
m: black
n: light brown
o: black
p: light reddish-tan
q: grey/black/purple
r: goldenrod
s: white or very light yellow
t: light grey
u: tan, dark peach
v: green
w: tan, light brownish orange
x: white, white/black, platinum
y: goldenrod, yellow
z: black, green, purple, or dark blue
This took me about a couple minutes to type out, the associations come to mind really quickly.
Music is totally different for me. I associate complex situational feelings, moods, and voices (not audible voices, but kind of like voice like the tone a writer creates in a book, more like a feeling) with different types of movements, chord changes, beats, instrument timbre, and melodies. Maybe I’ll delve more into that later, but it would probably be really difficult to explain and will end up being a lot of intellectual mish mash.
night!
aaaaa! beautiful!
August 2, 2008 at 5:13 pm | In race & racism, sensualism | Leave a CommentMy posts have been more aesthetic-centered lately, but here’s another wonderful thing I just saw. This portrait is from the The Sartorialist. He usually photographs people in full and focuses on the clothing or details, but occasionally he just snaps some one that he finds to be striking.
Gotta love fair, red-headed people. Kind of reminds me of my uncle, Paul. My dad’s brother and sisters all have red hair.
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